Thursday, May 9, 2013

reasons to smile.

I am generally a happy girl.

Life keeps throwing me curveballs and while the people looking in on my life see a hot mess, I feel like the luckiest person in the world. Really.

I am 26 years old and living with my parents. I am single and likely will be for a long time. I am a single mom and breaks are few and far between. My son is having open heart surgery in less than two months.

While I am working towards moving forward and while this isn't where I want to be long term, I am insanely happy.

I don't often need a "reason" to smile, but if ever there were reasons, these 15 would be them this week.

This kid who has nearly doubled in size since he was born with straight up nursing and without supplementation. This is a big deal for heart babies and we are exceeding all expectations I had of Max's life before his repair.

 Catching Eldon doing "this little piggy" for his brother even though he pretends not to like him.

Eldon's fashion sense and the fact that no matter how he gets dressed, he always puts a cape on last. His favorite cape has rips and tears and leaves stuck to it. As I hang it up each night, I smile at the tattered proof that he is doing this whole childhood thing right.

Grass stains, dirty feet, and skinned knees. (more proof)

This view every morning.

This gorgeous Mother's Day bouquet that arrived on my doorstep yesterday from my ex in-laws. I could write two pages about how much this meant to me, and the perfect timing of such a thoughtful gift, but I don't think I need to. You can imagine.

 Sunshine! Windows down, AC on, flip flops, BBQs, and a glimpse of summer.
To answer your question, yes. I am aware that I may just be single forever.
Beer. Cold ass delicious beer. Also? Knowing that the last of my stepdad's killer homebrewed holiday beer is still sitting in the fridge waiting for me when I grow the balls.
I didn't have a picture of beer, but I do have the label I made for the holiday brew!
This video.
Girlfriends. Real people that know the real you. We recently had a sleepover (okay...we recently had two sleepovers) and reconnecting with these ladies is the greatest reminder of how important it is to be more than just mom. Lucky for me, they all love me for the person I am and the mom I am and I get to be both. I love them back.
Deleware recognizing the need for marriage equality and picturing all of the happy couples who are now able to marry eachother. I can't imagine what a feeling that must be.
These garden stakes I made for my mom for Mother's Day
Getting to call this city home
Amazing doctors. Like, really really amazing. They KNOW us. They genuinely care about Max and they are the best of the best. I don't dread going in for appointments any more, it's like catching up with a friend. I have never had care like this before and I am just so so grateful for the trusting relationships we have built with the people responsible for my son's care.
Life is good. So so good.