with two.

Most people don't bring home a baby alone.

Most people have healthy babies.

We just dance to a different rhythm around here but the beat is sweet nonetheless.

I keep getting texts from friends... "What's it like having two?"

I reply "Great! I am loving it." which is mostly true. I am over the moon in love with two boys who stretch me to every single limit, test what I am made of (which is thankfully not sugar & spice) and are teaching me a thing or two about love, patience, and why wine was invented.

Want the total truth? Here is a rundown of our day in all it's milk-stained glory.

I hardly bother getting dressed because the process of taking boobs out and putting them back in is neverending and monotonous. I shower about every other day and sleep about every other hour through the night, which actually isn't so bad. The alarm goes off at 6:30 because I need a full hour and a half to coax a stubborn Eldon into getting dressed for school. In between shouting matches that went like this this particular morning:

"I am going to turn the TV off until you put your shoes on!"

"Well, I'M gonna turn your HEART off if you do that! I'm NOT going to school! I'm SICK! Do you want me to go get all my friends sick?!?!?!"

(he's not sick....)

I try to make myself just barely presentable enough that his teachers don't feel the need for a welfare visit and well...if he talks like that at school, I should probably just invite them over for beer.

There are four hours to kill while he is at school, which goes by pretty quickly between errands, laundry, nursing, and a baby that only sleeps in arms or a carrier.

Sidenote: If ever there comes a time that I mention any type of "baby fever" or casually spout off something ridiculous like "three wouldn't be so bad," I want you to lean over and just whisper the word "laundry" in my ear to put an end to all of that crazy talk.

If you really love me, you will do it. If you are a real friend, seriously...remember this.

Laundry. How the hell? I just....seriously.

So, where were we? Oh, 12:45. Yep, it's only lunchtime, which for me consists of a few spoonfuls of peanut butter, whatever else I can grab on the go, and a heaping pile of guilt that if I am going to make nutritious milk for Max, I should be eating better.

We will fastforward through the afternoon which is pretty much uneventful. We do crafts, read books, build with legos, and argue about the 30 minute TV limit about every 5 minutes. I make phone calls, schedule more appointments, and fill out more paperwork. I dodge doctors and if it's last Wednesday, I end up having to call them anyway and drag BOTH kids all the way into Seattle for an appointment to fix some unraveling stitches in a place where stitches should never be. What is more fun that stitches in your you-know-what? Having to sit down and drive for an hour afterwards.
TMI? It's life.

So other than waddling through the evening, there is usually a knock down, drag out fight over dinner and then bath time for Eldon. I sit on the toilet and nurse the baby while Eldon plays in the water. To clarify, the lid is closed and I am just using it as a chair...usually. I have become an expert on preparing meals, peeing, and cleaning up with a baby attached to my boob.

I pull him out of the bath and his pajamas out of the dryer because princess Eldon insists on warm clothes when he gets out of the bath.

I drag him upstairs and he, Max, and I all crowd onto his twin bed for books and good dreams before the wicked finally rests and we creep back downstairs for a moment of quiet before bed.

In the midst of it all,  there are diapers, lots of poop, and about equal amounts of nursing. There is a baby who challenges my mama instincts and requires more calls to the Pediatrician than I had anticipated. How blue is too blue? What do I do if he passes out? Can we go to Montana for Easter?

There are snuggles, lots of kisses, first smiles and the reward of watching Eldon blossom into a big brother. There is Spring, sunshine, and hopscotch.

There is this chaos that is so perfectly mine. Ours.

We are falling into a schedule and adjusting to our new roles. As promised, we are about as graceful as Chris Farley and I have definitely been a better mom at times.

Where we lack in finesse, we overcompensate with love and laughter.

Going into this, I thought I would harbor resentment towards my ex when it got tough. These are some seriously tinted rose colored shades though, and even when it's wild, all I can see is the beauty. For his sake, I only wish that he could be here to witness it firsthand.

I am so proud of these boys and so in love with this new life.